cryforburke.

Brooklyn Pool Parties: Week 2

What a fucking dud of a show.  Even with it being free, we still feel like we were ripped off.

The second week of the Jelly NYC pool parties was a massive failure for multiple reasons.  Let’s discuss a few, hmmm?

First of all, White Denim got canceled. So the only real reason to show up to the water front today just went straight through the window.  If they did end up playing, we’re pretty sure it would have been just like this:

That’s right, White Denim live is akin to two giant male gorillas going toe to toe to establish dominance over all the sexy female gorillas in heat.   Sadly, instead of something so awesome as all that, we got this instead:

complete dog shit.

So the the first band to go up was the Crystal Antlers.

We would have loved these guys in high school but now they just seem kind of boring.  We have to give them extra credit for having a black guy in the band though…way to go fellas.  We saw the singer walking around the venue looking for gash after they played but no one recognized him.  Bummer, dude!

That reminds us.  Can we please knock it off with the Crystal ::insert whatever bullshit here:: band names?  We get it already.

Next up on the block was the snoozetastic Magnolia Electric Co.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….! What?!  Oh, magnolia electric company is playing on the ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Wrong band, wrong genre for the uber “hip” crowed.  They performed their “we kind of sound like Wilco, right?” brand of rock to almost dead silence.  Awkward!

And then there was the headliner of the night, The Dirty Projectors.

We heard these jokers play 2 and a half songs before we decided to pack it in.  We figured we could just go to Bushwick and watch poor “artists” jerk off onto their guitars for 45 minutes and it would be about the same as a Dirty Projectors show.  Seriously, what’s with the hype on this band?  They have one pretty catchy song on the Dark Was the Night comp and thats about it.  They’re  boring bullshit that pretentious idiots have tricked themselves into enjoying.  Hey assholes, enjoy the ride cuz you got about 13 minutes of fame left before someone else comes along and gets the “new vampire weekend” title.

Next week’s free show will have the Black Lips + And you will know us by the trail of dead.

And you will know us by the backs of our heads moving away from you the second after the Black Lips leave the stage.